Guys! Relationship advice--why do guys randomly stop talking to you?

Okay, it's a long story but I'll keep it short and simple. There's this guy I've known for like 2 years. He knows me, he knows exactly how I am. I am a christian, so I am saving myself for marriage and he knows that, plus he's not the type of guy to just use girls for sex. I would know, he's one of my close friends. Anyway, why does he talk to me off and on? He'll randomly text me and ask me to hang out and pursue me like crazy and flirt with me like trying to hold my hand and staring at me and telling me stuff about our future. Then BAM. As the week goes on, he randomly just STOPS. He'll occasionally wave to me or say hi but its almost like he's avoiding me....when HE was the one pursuing me. He knows I like him but still I just acted normal when we hung out, he was the one who ended up really flirting. And he would tell people that he's my future boyfriend and stuff. HELP!! What the heck is this guy doing? He is SOOO confusing... he will not stop with this whole off and on crap. Do I need to just get over him or what?


Might I add, I DID show him attention, I flirted, I just kinda played a little hard to get because if I show him all my emotions like I used to do and tell him how much I care he doesn't seem as interested...


  • Well if you don't show that your interested he'll back off. Your not showing him any interest so I'm assuming that he's giving up on you and then trying again over and over again. could you answer my question.;_ylt=AnKtO...

  • Did you text him during the last three days? It doesn't seem fair to put all the pressure on him to initiate the communication. You could even just text him something like "I know your tired/busy, but I just would like a text back to know that you're okay. I'm a little worried." There could be a perfectly logical reason why he is not communicating. The main thing is that you two communicate. Don't "get back" at him by ignoring him. When you do talk to him, tell him calmly how you felt when you didn't hear from him. If he's as sweet as you say, knowing that it upset you so much will make him not want to ever do it again. On a personal note, I hate long distance relationships for reasons like this. Too much is assumed and not communicated. Also, usually if two people break up, and nothing changes to fix the problem, getting back together usually doesn't work. Just food for thought.

  • First off how old are you?

    ALL GUYS WANT TO HAVE SEX. Even if he has committed to waiting until he is married, he still imagines doing it with you. It's a natural and normal thing to want to do. A lot of people like a challenge. He may think that if he could get you to give in it would make him feel like Superman. He may like the idea of the challenge, but then get frustrated because it doesn't go anywhere. If a guy isn't thinking about having sex with the girls he's around, then most likely he is gay. There are always girls that a guy will look at as a friend, like a sister. Those girls are the ones he would act normal around and not flirt with because he's not attracted to them.

    Most females that do make it to marriage without having sex, find other ways to satisfy the guys they date. People get frustrated if they don't get a release and a lot of times it will make them look elsewhere. I respect your commitment and I'm not telling you to break it. These are just some things for you to think over.

    Girls like when a guy likes who they are, their personality... But most guys work different than that. They are attracted first by looks. If you get along, don't argue a lot, have a lot in common, then a relationship can last. Girls are just different creatures!

    There are 2 other things that could be happening. 1. He's interested in (a lot of, or maybe just one) other girl(s). He doesn't want to date. He just wants to play around at flirting. 2. He is just not that into you.

    Whatever the case may be, it sounds like you are young. There are TONS of guys out there. Don't get stuck just on one. Chances are you won't marry your high school sweetheart, it happens, but usually those marriages end in divorce (not always, but if you look up the statistics on the internet, you will see this is true). High school is a time to practice relationships. Figure out what you like and don't like by dating a lot of different people. You may find that you like smart guys because you can have philosophical conversations, or maybe someone who is shy is more your type. The only way you'll find out, is by trying!

    If he isn't giving you what you want, then he's not the right guy for you. The last thing you want to do is end up in a relationship where you are doing all the work and being taken for granted. Value yourself. Know yourself. Love yourself. You don't need a guy to be happy! Don't follow a guy around like a puppy dog. Make him chase you, you are worth it!

  • I am a guy, I have had my experiences, and let me tell you what is going on:

    1) For a guy getting to have sex with a virgin is a huge prize. It is like a trophy.

    2) He knows you are a Christian and your virginity is important to you, so he cannot approach you the same way he would other women.

    3) The way he is behaving it is clear to me he is playing a game with you to get you to submit to him. He is trying to win your sympathy by appearing to be understanding and "not a guy to use girls for sex", but that is not his true self.

    Do not trust him. If you did sleep with him he would brag with his friends and he would ditch you after-wards. Read the story in the bible about Amnon and his games to score with Tamar, and how he treated her once he had her. 2. Samuel 13

    You are a most honorable woman, a precious daughter of the Most High God, and your decision to marry as a virgin in this society today will give you honor in heaven and your future husband will treasure you for it too like you don't know yet. There is no bigger gift to a bridegroom than the virginity of his bride. Don't let him take that away from you.

  • I get what he's going through. He tries all the flirting, etc, and you just act normal. So, he probably feels like he's wasting his time and he'll give up. I say this from pure experience. This forms into a cycle and continues as he gains and loses confidence. PM me if you have any more questions :P.

  • It's completely normal I unfortunately have the tendency of doing the same thing

  • guys like me are not patient. after a bit of trying we cant think of any other ways to flirt or we just get discouraged.

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