what do can say when your partner cant get past his divorce?

Its been years now and It seems to hinder our relationship...Its so sad.I dont understand...I hate to be compared.


  • I have been through that. I listened to it for 5 long years. I finally left because I realized he was using it as an excuse not to become more deeply involved with me. I am glad I left too. Because I too, don't care to be #2 in anyone's life.

    What you could do is point blank tell him that his constant reminders of the past means there can be no future for you and him, because 3 people can't be married together.

    If he stops then you have a go ahead for a relationship. If he does not stop, then you have to decide if you can live like this, even if you love him. It's not an easy decision, but you need to stand up for yourself and stop being treated as second.

    Good luck.

  • You can always tell the emotional fitness or well being of a person by how well they are able to adjust or spring back from situations in their life. It is normal for a person to have difficulties for months from a divorce----but years?-----that's a sign of emotional problems. But, you already know that, don't you? If your partner can't get over it now, he/she probably never will and you will be dragged down. You need to make some clear decisions about how much time you want to waste here and if you want to live the rest of your life with this baggage.

  • You're not compared. You're just stuck with a guy who got burned. Wait for his scar to lessen or get out of there. At least threaten to get out of there. You'll force him to compare his loneliness with you. And if his scar hurts him too much he'll let you go. But if he's healed enough, he'll want you back.

  • Be patient, kind, understanding and supportive.

    Let your partner get over it when they are ready to get over it. You cannot force someone to feel how YOU want them to feel, when YOU want them to feel it.

    If it is too much, maybe you should consider some time apart.

  • Hunny, counseling might help, and he shouldn't be comparing you that is wrong..Maybe a heart to heart you need to let him know how you fell about everything and then you need to let him talk and express his feelings.

  • tell him s**t happens get over it.!! no use holding on to something thats not there. and when he compares you to the other person, tell him to go run to his ex. you don't deserve that.

  • You say bye, so long, have a nice life.

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