Parents forcing me to go to Grandma's funeral.?

Before you comment on how awful this sounds, understand a few things. First of all, my grandma moved from Michigan (where I live) to Minnesota when I was only a few years old. She decided to marry a high school friend who abused her and stole her money instead of building relationships with her granddaughters. She only moved back here a couple years ago because of health problems. I had no interest in building a relationship with her because I barely knew her and I still don't, and she left us. My sister and I were always forced to visit her and I never enjoyed it, and spent every second wanting to leave. Now, she's stopping dialysis and killing herself. My parents expect me to take a 3 or 4 day trip out to Minnesota for her visitation and funeral. I'm in very competitive and difficult classes in school and even missing a day will set me back a great deal. My grades are struggling right now because I missed a day last week. I can't imagine the toll a four day trip will have on my grades. Neither my sister nor I want to go to this funeral, but my parents want us to.


  • funerals are one time only school will still be there

  • i would go if you dont want angry parents around, and talk to your teachers about it, nnaybe they'll give you nnore tinne to do your schoolwork

  • Just tell your parents you're not going because of obligations you have which may impact your future.

    And you're really judgmental about your grandmother. I didn't know her of course, but people do things for their own reasons. I truly do not think it's selfish to do what we want and feel the need to do in this life, including moving out of town. You're doing the same sort of thing you say your grandmother did right now, by not wanting to accompany your parents. So if you have this idea your grandmother abandoned everyone, you're abandoning your parents in a way, too. Think about it.

    We do what we NEED TO DO in order to live in this world, and no one owes you or me a reason or excuse.

  • Yes, your parents are forcing you to go to your Grandmother's funeral. Apparently your parent can forgive what you cannot forgive.

    Is that your question?

  • Yes, that's appropriate. You can talk to your teachers ahead of time, let them know that your grandmother is in her last days and make arrangements to take schoolwork with you. Family is just as important as school work, especially since you are only in high school. It's not like you are skipping a funeral to take the bar exam.

  • School is more important if you feel this way. Just tell them you can't come. They'll get over it or not.

  • If you respect your parent's feelings, you will go. If you choose not to attend your grandmother's funeral, you will be showing your parents that you haven't matured enough to take their wishes into your account, and don't even care what they think. They will hope you grow out of your selfish ways. And they'll probably be surprised that you have so little self confidence, that you don't believe you'll be able to recover from 4 days off of school.

  • whatever you felt to her she was your parents (whichever one) mother. if you have grandchildren and they feel the same way about you I would give the same advice to go. grades do not suffer for a day. there is a reason you are either not saying or admitting to yourself. Go even if just to clear the air and stopping dialysis with all the pain it entails is not killing oneself. the reason for it maybe

  • What's your question? Yes, you should go to the funeral, if for nothing else, to support your parents.

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